


Get Me Home

by Caffeinated_Owlbear



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: AI Jack Trying to Make Sense of What Happened, Artificial Intelligence Handsome Jack, Atlas Mugged, Gen, Gortys Project, Hologram Handsome Jack, Set During TFTBL, World-Class Denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28104849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffeinated_Owlbear/pseuds/Caffeinated_Owlbear
Summary: "Handsome Jack died. Down on Pandora-- I mean, HERE on Pandora.""No, no, no. That's impossible. I, I can't... die. That's... No no, that's stupid."
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Get Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> Set during Atlas Mugged.
> 
> Inspired by [this fan art by runandhide](https://twitter.com/art_runandhide/status/1338866520894541833), and the conversation that ensued in the thread.

"Handsome Jack to Helios. Get me home."

Jack waits. There are still a bunch of gaps in his memory, so he's not sure what the procedure is right now. Is there gonna be some kinda response or confirmation? And what's it gonna feel like, having this holo projection despawned? Can he even feel anything in this thing?

Whatever. One way or another, he's about to wake up back on Helios, back in his own body, and pat himself on the back for the successful field test of the brand new digi-Jack tech. 'Cause that's what this is, duh. He's found a way to remotely pilot a holo of himself. Perfect for those times when you wanna drop by somewhere with a high risk of getting shot in the face and wanna be a bit more discreet than an entourage of loaders would let you. Go anywhere on Pandora without a second thought – that's the dream, right? (Well, no, it's not, 'cause you're still on Pandora, but the idea's got legs.)

The tech still has some kinks to iron out, of course. Hence the memory gaps and the brief confusion about his lack of corporeality.

"Handsome Jack to Helios. Still standing by, so how about you get me the fuck outta here?"

Oh yeah, speaking of memory. Is he gonna remember anything that happened down here? 'Cause apparently, a new Vault has just come into play. Sure is lucky that a pair of Hyperion nerds happened to stumble across the freaking Gortys Project just as Jack was about to drop by; then again, he's had a run of shitty luck lately, so it's about time he finally caught a break. So yeah, he'd better remember this bit when he wakes up back on Helios. Then again, he's not an idiot: he'll have made sure that everything during his adventure down here is getting logged.

Speaking of idiots. Still not sure what to make of the kid with the metal arm. Is he supposed to be part of the experiment? A stress test to check how self-aware Jack's projection is and how it deals when presented with information that clashes with his knowledge of facts? (I.e., all that 'Jack, you're dead' bullshit.)

If that's the case, Jack's gonna have to airlock whoever assigned the kid to that job, 'cause for fuck's sake, if you think these holo test runs are so jarring that Jack needs a freaking _handler_ , then as a basic fucking courtesy, pick someone who's _not_ gonna wet themselves at the mere sight of him. (And give him a more plausible story to feed Jack than that a bunch of _Vault Hunters_ killed him. Come the fuck on.)

"Handsome Jack to Helios. Getting really freaking BORED down here!"

Up in the sky, Helios is looking down on him, but still isn't in a hurry to bring him back.

What can _possibly_ be taking so long? Surely there's a team standing by, monitoring what's going on, ready to pull him out if anything goes wrong–

Wait. Back on Helios, is he conscious while piloting this blue thing he's currently in? Is he aware of what's going on? Can't be, 'cause if Jack were watching himself just now, he wouldn't leave himself hanging like this.

Which means his body is unconscious right now. And no way in hell would Jack let anyone stand over him while he's out of it. (Except maybe Nisha. Or Wilhelm. But neither's around to give him a hand.)

Which means he'll have set up a way to get himself back without anyone's help. Gotta be a passphrase or a code.

Shit. He might be in trouble. 'Cause Jack has zero recollection of setting up anything like that.

"Handsome Jack to Handsome Jack. Come on, Jack, get us outta here. Lemme in? Beam me up? Pretty please? Access authorization, Handsome Jack. Handsome hero. Hero of Pandora. HJack69. Uh. Butt Stallion. Pretzels. Captain Bear. UGH, come on, you dick, what kinda password have you set on this thing?"

...No. No, he wouldn't have. First off, recycling passwords is a huge security no-no. Secondly, that phrase would make zero sense in this context.

He wouldn't have done that. He wouldn't have.

Unless it's the master override. The last resort. The one thing he'd trust to get him home.

Shit. Fuck. Maybe he would.

Okay, Jack. It'll be over soon. In just a few moments, you're gonna wake up back on Helios, probably in your office ('cause this holo thing is almost certainly set up via a link between the throne and the station's network). Then you're gonna slap yourself really hard for the present moment of uncharacteristic idiocy, and pour yourself a triple of the good bourbon. 

There's just one thing you need to do first.

Jack looks up, then closes his eyes.

"I love you."

For a while, nothing happens. Then it continues happening for a while longer.

Jack opens his eyes. Helios hangs in the sky, still and silent. It watches him as patiently as it always has. But it still won't take him back.

Okay. Okay. So this isn't the password. But there's gotta be something. Only a total fucking idiot would've stranded himself like this, and Jack is many things, but he's not a total fucking idiot.

Which means he _hasn't_ stranded himself like this. Which means there's gotta be a way back. Some kinda failsafe. Some kinda recall.

There's _gotta_ be.

Unless…

NO.

Unless the kid was telling the truth. About Jack being– 

No, no, that's bullshit, that's not possible, that was just a stress test, remember? The kid's just part of the experiment, and it's by sheer coincidence they all ended up at the old Atlas facility, and the only reason Jack can't remember how he got here is 'cause of a glitch in the tech that he's still refining, and that's also why he can't remember the password to get back. Yeah. It all fits together. It all makes sense.

Except the part where Jack let himself get stranded. 'Cause he might've greenlit an unstable beta of this software, might've screwed over some other field tester, but he wouldn't have done this to _himself_. Which means he didn't do it. Which means there _is_ a failsafe somewhere.

The kid. He might not be telling the truth ('cause of course he's not, 'cause no-one's killed Jack, Jack's alive and well back on Helios, he just needs to figure out a way to get back there). But he definitely knows something. So Jack's gonna ask him some questions.

And if he doesn't cooperate, then Jack's gonna get some answers on his own. 'Cause for whatever, probably totally normal, reason, Jack can kinda-sorta see inside the kid's head, or the cybernetic parts of it, anyway. Gotta be something there he can use.

Jack drags his eyes away from the shape of Helios in the sky and looks around. Where the fuck is he, anyway? He remembers stepping outside the Atlas compound. But now there's just wasteland around him, and Old Haven is on the horizon, fast disappearing from view.

Whatever! Not important. Jack's gonna get some answers, gonna get himself home, gonna get a drink. And then he's gonna call Angel. 'Cause of all the memory gaps thanks to the glitches, the most annoying one is the fact that Jack can't remember the last time he spoke to his daughter. She probably isn't gonna wanna talk to him. But it'll still be nice to hear her voice.


End file.
